A & E (103)

Terlantun lagu Barry Manilow legendaris di ruang kerja Ola. Ia sedang mempersiapkan diri untuk menulis artikel yang ditunggu penerbit. Tak kuasa ia mengambil diarynya, teringat Elang, dan menahan diri untuk tidak menghubunginya. Diambilnya bolpen warna-warni di tempat bolpen berwarna kuning berbentuk tempat sampah di sisi kanan depannya.

Dibuka lembaran baru diarynya, dituliskannya memakai tinta hijau, sesuai moodnya.

Hi Lang,
You won't read this. But I am happy even though I just write it to you. I am happy when you're happy. And my happiness increases when you're happy and enjoy your life. I don't want to be selfish and just thinking about myself. I know I'll find someone else, and marry him. You know Adele's song? Someone like you. I might found someone better than you! LOL.

I can't stop thinking about you. Last night, a dream of you is crystal clear. We chatted, and spend time together. I have trouble sleeping lately. Dunno if this because I haven't be familiar with Yogyakarta. Your friend, Sari, is very nice. Thank you for letting her help me.

I still love you though. I hope this feeling be gone. Only time will tell, though it failed now. Haha. Ten years separated from you doesn't change my feeling at all. Crazy! I am crazy! That's a song. From Julio Iglesias, you should pronounce it Iglesia...

Thank you for the joy you bring.


Ola menarik nafas panjang, meminum beberapa teguk air putih dari tumbler biru kesayangannya. Menatap ke jadwal kegiatan mingguannya sekilas, lalu melanjutkan tulisannya.



Lang, nights are the worst. I truly having difficulty sleeping. My brain works too hard to erase you from my memory. And it's just making you get into my dreams, which is super worst. The bad things about dreams are the look so real, feel so real, yet it isn't. 

I watched a movie called Dear Zindagi two years ago, and all of a sudden, I want to watch it again. My brain tells me to watch it one more time. Or maybe it's my fourth time. Maybe because my brain looks for similarities in that movie with my current situation. I am sure you remember that movie, we talked about it few times. You said you see me in that movie. Maybe because I miss our conversations, my brain tells me to watch it. Kiara, that's the main character. A rebel, just like me. You don't know how much I miss you...

Mata Ola berkaca-kaca, ia hanya ingin menumpahkan segala rindunya pada kisah-kisah yang takkan pernah dibaca Elang. Ia hanya menulis dan tetap menulis, seolah ia sedang berbincang dengan Elang.

What did I miss from our conversations? Why it is so meaningful to me yet sometimes our conversation is just basically nothing. A companion. Yes, that's the right word to describe your presence. I miss your companion. I think we could really travel around the world, just the two of us. Talking about anything, endless, that would be great. But hey, you marry her. 

Probably you're now hugging her and stuff. And here I am, crying over someone who might already forget about me. Do you forget me Lang? Do you still remember the way I look at you? 

I miss you. And it's killing me. I just wish the sun rise. I hate nights. 

Jatuh sudah bulir air mata, mengalir di pipi Ola. Hidungnya memerah dan serasa sesak dadanya. Dibacanya sekali lagi goresan penanya. Cukup untuk malam ini, pikirnya.

Good night Lang, I am sorry...